Folks, sometimes you’re in the mood for a bag of seafood.  Not a plateful of seafood, a bagful.. Trash bag to be exact.  The Boiling Crab restaurant has locations all up the California coast as well as Dallas and Houston in Texas so you can pretty much find them when you need them.

When you walk in it’s like you’re entering a wharf.  There are nice long dark wood picnic tables and all the wood and tables and walls and beams in the place are completely covered with carved names and messages and pictures that I guess people made over time with their forks maybe?  It’s a cool place to sit and eat.

So you order what kinds of seafood you want: shrimp, clams, oysters, crayfish, lobster, crab, scallops.. All the best things that come out of the sea. Notice I did not mention fish…  Then you pick a sauce: Rajun Cajun, lemon pepper, garlic butter or one called the Whole Shebang which is all three combined- this is by far the best one.

They bib you, and although it is my personal policy to never allow myself to be bibbed, I recommended you go ahead and let them bib you just this once.  Trust me.

The table is covered with waxy butcher paper, giving you some idea as to how much liquid will get dumped on it.  In preparation of your feast you order a few beers and then the staff dumps a huge pile of lemon wedges right on the table.  Then a server hauls over a big clear plastic trash bag full of steaming seafood completely soaked in bright red sauce- a scary thing to see coming your way for most people.  You open the bag and dump it all over the table- you now must get cracking.

The shrimps are shell on which you know I hate so I made Marcus take all the shells off for me, the crab legs are big and prehistoric looking, my favorite.  Now I am a pro at cracking crab and lobster and I can separate all the meat within like a minute, but most of you may need the cracker tools and stuff and it does take a bit of work if you’re a novice but the payoff is worth it.  Succulent lobster, sweet meaty crab, lots and lots of delicious ocean meats- and not a vegetable in sight, unless you count the French fries, but if you think that’s counted as a vegetable you’re delusional.  Everything gets dredged through a lake of the tangy sauce and then dipped in melted butter and drizzled with lemon juice- its all delicious and the best part is, for me, the primitive carnivore style practice of eating with ones hands and breaking the animals open with the sharp direct cracking of the creatures themselves.  This part makes me feel very alive and human and primitive and happy.  I’d crawl into the ocean myself and grab these little buggers and really have the whole experience but until I get over my seasickness, this is where I will satisfy my craving.

I will be celebrating my next birthday there and will probably invite all of you and, since I’m not telling you when that will be or how old I will be turning, you should just stay tuned if you want to be made a part of that historic event that will be the embodiment of a crazy carnivore with a very honest love of food expressing themselves through the cracking, mangling and devouring of all the beautiful creatures on this incredible blue planet.

Also folks we are announcing The Boiling Crab as the headlining contender in the next Food Fight Challenge in the battle of Bag versus Bucket.  They will be battling Joe’s Crab Shack, a favorite of diners and an institution in the bucket style of dining.  We will debate the age old question of whether it’s best to eat seafood out of a bag…or a bucket.. We will subject ourselves to the trials and stretchy pants required in the pursuit of such a noble truth.  And when we announce a winner they will be well deserving of our esteemed plaque of champions.

The Boiling Crab
(858)695-9025
9015 Mira Mesa Rd
San Diego, CA  92126
Hours:
Mon-Fri 3 pm – 10 pm
Sat-Sun 12 pm – 10 pm